Enjoying our fourth of July
Untitled
Today I learned that one of my favorite uncles died in a car accident. This is the third family member that has passed away in this type of situation. I’m starting to understand why my parents worry about me driving. Jim Leuthe, you will always be remembered in our hearts and in our memories. R.I.P
the tides wave pass me and the mountains of snow melt at my feet as I cry and cry again. The tears will evenually disapear andd I will have nothing but the memories that leave me with an uncomplete sickness. I write run-on sentenses to complete the non existent ones. Welcome to my world. I’m not sain.
You would think that living with someone would bring you closer to that individual. In my case it seems to be tearing us apart. I work as often as I possibly can, which if need be would be weekends. We were perfect in the beginning, I thought we were the same person deep down, it turns out that wasn’t the truth. My belief is that he really has no ambition to move forward in life, our relationship or anything else for that matter. He says that since we’ve began dating that I have put him into debt 2,000 dollars. How can that be? Also, that I put everyone else before my boyfriend, and if that is the truth how the hell am I ever going to have a healthy relationship?
Besides the debauchery of my relationship, I believe that I have officially worked my ass off in my internship. Who knows what the future is to bring with a job, but for right now I am loving 160 all the way. It’s one of those real jobs that you love to hate and hate to love. I had the day off today. I should have taken full advantage of that but instead I decided to sleep in.
School starts next week and I am dreading the aspect of having to actually leave my comfort zone of not being critiqued on MY actual work. At work I’m critiqued on the work I do for other people, which doesn’t bother me. Its more of a discussion on how I/we can make it better. I love that.
I finished my first week at my internship! Like i’ve told others, I’ve learned more in three days then I learned in three years in college. Each day I start out, grab a cup of coffee in the boomarang room and then my day begins. I have to say…I have not had a second to actually pick up that cup of coffee and take a sip. Tom, (my superior) makes sure that I have something to do every second of the day! I could not be happier and have great hopes that this experience will take me places that I always imagined to be.
In other news, this job may have rocked the boat in my current relationship. He goes to work two days a week, more if he is able, working from 4pm-4am as a bar-back. I wake up at 7am to be at work by 9am and usually work until around 5pm…but sometimes i have school at 735am then work until 5 or 6pm or other times i have work from 9am and have school until 10pm. I’ve been somewhat of a bitch to say the least. We are learning to cope with the situation. Each time Jon and I face something like this we are able to rise to the challenge. This is how I know we are going to make it.
In other news, I have learned that I truly have no friends besides Jon. My old friend Marie is caught up in the night life of Philadelphia. I know this cannot be good for her, or anyone in general. My other old friend is my ex-boyfriend who refuses to meet Jon, which makes it impossible to see him. Other then that, I have acquaintances who are not involved in my life, just people i say hello too.
I have no seen my parents in a while which is awful, but I’m sure they know that I miss them. I miss my sister who should be living in Philly…oh well…
My three week break has officially come to an end. Tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn I will be stuck in a computer lab with a grumpy old man who most likely would love to kill himself at the sight of most self absorbed uneducated children who went to art school because they didn’t fit in anywhere else.
Luckily I’m not one of those. I’ve known since the prime age of nine what I wanted to do with my life. Too bad that now in my later years of the worst education given to me that now I want to give up on that dream.
What’s my course of action now. What should I do. I have less then six months to figure out my life. And too think…I loved this three years ago. It breaks my heart
To add on to my personal complaints I also have to be honest with my present relationship with someone that I love. I don’t know if its really working…opps. Yet another failed relationship on my part. I can’t keep friends or boyfriends. There may be something wrong with me. I guess all the previous boyfriends were right
